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Author Topic: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental  (Read 23195 times)

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Fenris

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Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« on: August 22, 2013, 06:03:50 AM »
Hi guys,

I've just completed the project I've been working on: a Fan-TRO supplementing the actual TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth.


I hope you enjoy it :)

DL-Link:
https://www.mediafire.com/?80lm2c9qexapfu3

« Last Edit: April 25, 2016, 01:51:31 PM by Fenris »
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Red Pins

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2013, 08:30:19 AM »
SKWEEE!  New Fanbook!

Edit - And very nice!  Sometime, I need to know how you did the RS.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 08:42:51 AM by Red Pins »
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Fenris

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2013, 09:23:05 AM »
Thanks :)
Well... I used graphic editing software and basically did them by hand (based on Screenshots from actual Record Sheets). Combined with MS Word's goofyness, that's why they are not 100% identical in terms of format and positioning, but they should still work just fine if you print them.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 09:24:06 AM by Fenris »
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JPArbiter

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2013, 11:19:05 AM »
who was your illustrator?  I may have some work for them.
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BattleTech products aren't Pokemon Cards. You don't have to catch, or collect them all.

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Fenris

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2013, 11:29:09 AM »
Rudy Valle (aka shortpainter), like it says on the very first page. ;)
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JPArbiter

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2013, 11:57:52 AM »
I feel like a goof

the Stats are not half bad, though Yggdrasil  seems a little difficult to deploy in a normal order of battle, the Terror and Mammogram (intentional misspelling cause I think it is funny) are beautiful though.

The writing is about on par with fan work, it reads more like an internal memo then a document being presented by intel services to a chief executive or a military comittie.
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BattleTech products aren't Pokemon Cards. You don't have to catch, or collect them all.

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Fenris

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2013, 12:10:49 PM »
Well, the Yggdrasil is certainly not perfect and does have weaknesses, but its strengths are still worth it and compared to the original Berserker, no matter which version, it is still a huge improvement. I mean, it literally takes out a 95 ton mech's leg with a single kick. Combined with the amount of armor and still fairly decent speed, it should be a force to be reckoned with.
And yes, the Managarm and Terror should prove a pain in the butt. Steiner always had a tradition of excellent mediums, so I thought it would make sense to follow up on that tradition.

As for writing... I'm not a native speaker, so I guess it's difficult to reach the level of an actual professional native speaker author.
But to be honest, at least with the last official 3145 TRO, I was anything but impressed with the level of writing. In some parts, it seemed outright ridiculous. Also I didn't quite like new style for the 3145 series, meaning the focus on Battle history rather than the development process etc., so I tried to go back to the the style established with the 3075/3085 series.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 12:21:28 PM by Fenris »
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JPArbiter

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2013, 12:43:09 PM »
not being a native English speaker actually explains it a lot.

as far as battle history vs development history, ehhh six one way half a dozen the other I suppose.  where TROs got dull for me was when under the capabilitiues segment the record sheet would be recited verbatum, so the change of pace we see today is at the least refreshing.  Development history would be nice to explain the logic behind some design decisions.  for example, and I am just making this up on the fly

Quote
"the 30mm autocannon on the jackrabbit was used to provide the mech with extreme range, making it a potent anti tank battlemech for the SLDF's standard order of deployment."
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Takiro

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2013, 01:23:26 PM »
Neat fanbook
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Fenris

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2013, 01:24:50 PM »
Quote from: JPArbiter on August 22, 2013, 12:43:09 PM
not being a native English speaker actually explains it a lot.

as far as battle history vs development history, ehhh six one way half a dozen the other I suppose.  where TROs got dull for me was when under the capabilitiues segment the record sheet would be recited verbatum, so the change of pace we see today is at the least refreshing.  Development history would be nice to explain the logic behind some design decisions. 

100% agree on the last part. I actually tried to do just that, even though of course at least sometimes it's also more or less "reciting the record sheet" just for the sake of having a filler. But I tried to keep that to a minimum. Not sure though whether I succeeded.

And yes, the new "style" kinda has a thing to it, but personally, I found the 3145 TROs to be lacking in the terms of a report on the design development, which is unnecessary since most official 3145 TRO entries don't come even close to using up all the space on the page. Consequently, I tried to have both, the development report, as well as battle history (maybe not as excessive as the official TROs). That's also why the respective text page of each entry may appear to be bursting at the seams.

As for the rest... is my English really that bad? :D
I know, sometimes one more preposition, noun marker or whatever may have been beneficial to make the sentence somewhat more harmonic to the eye, but I had to consider how much space remained for the entry, so I was forced to cut some sentences down, but they should still be in proper English (at least to the best of my knowledge).

thx, Takiro :)
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Shadow_Wraith

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2013, 02:10:05 PM »
 :)  Very nice Fan TRO! 
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Ice Hellion

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2013, 02:13:25 PM »
Don't worry. English is not my first language.
I will look at it.
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skiltao

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2013, 02:37:46 PM »
I'm impressed that each writeup is ~1200 words. [Edit: moreso now I know you're not a native English speaker. I'd never have guessed!] It flows pretty well, and doesn't have the choppiness that comes from trying to follow a bullet point outline, or from trying to condense previous writing.

Merging section headers was a good idea. Most of the entries have quite a lot to say about the design teams - I'd suggest splitting that stuff off into their own new section.

The Battle Histories look to me on par with the 3145 TROs. Rather focus on the blow-by-blow details of a boardgame fight, the way official 3145 stuff tends to, it'd be better to focus on the strategic movements and conditions leading up to the engagement, with only a sentence or two summarizing the engagement itself.

Stats are pretty straightforward. Listing each variant on its own page is interesting... it'd be helpful if the YGG-4H moved its M-Pods to the end of its list, to make its "Weapons and Ammo" easier to compare with the -4S on the previous page, but that's a very minor quibble.

And I like the art.
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Fenris

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2013, 03:10:23 PM »
Well, first of all, thank you for the profound feedback :)
Problem is, even though I finished the TRO, I'm actually kinda occupied with study work. So I never got around to play actual board games with these designs. I only managed to play a bit against the bot in Megamek and here the designs performed quite well.
But I consider revising the write-up once I have more time at my disposal (whenever that may eventually be :D).
Concerning the M-Pods... I followed the "rules" set by the official Catalyst TROs, meaning Right Arm first, Left Arm second, Right side torso third, etc.
So in that case there really is no room left to wiggle.

As for the art, yeah... I like it too. I think Rudy managed to realize my ideas quite well. At first it took me a while to get used to the different style compared to his Carronade from TRO FWL, but now I actually prefer the shading style.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 03:13:33 PM by Fenris »
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Dragon Cat

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Re: Fan-TRO 3145 Lyran Commonwealth Supplemental
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2013, 05:10:40 PM »
When I saw Yggdrasil I hoped for a new WarShip, what I got was something almost as tough as one.

Strange that the designs start at the heaviest and work backwards, for a start I thought it was a true Lyran TRO and only 100 toners!!

Overall nice designs, I've skimmed the fluff but what really impressed was the artwork very very nice.
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