OBT Forum
General BattleTech => Canon Inspired => Topic started by: drakensis on September 14, 2013, 03:31:10 AM
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From: Isis Marik
To: Daddy
Re: Christmas
Hi
I know you're secretly having your minions reading my mail (since you abandoned me and Mom I'm sure you're not doing this personally but maybe knowing you've missed my last 13 birthdays will convince them to bring this to your attention) so I thought I'd let you know what I'd like for Christmas.
One (1) Victor Ian Steiner-Davion.
Is that too much to ask?
love and kisses, your daughter
Isis.
From: Captain-General Thomas Marik
To: Isis Marik
Re: Christmas
Isis
1. I only read your private mail when it's addressed to me and the only minions who read it are my secretary screening for hate mail and your secretary checking the spelling.
2. No.
3. Hell no.
4. Tidy your room, young lady.
Captain-General Thomas Marik
From: Isis Marik
To: Not-Daddy
Cc: ComStar Routing
Re: Christmas
Sir,
You appear to have accidentally received my mail addressed to a third party. I apologise, but really, rude much?
I'm sure ComStar will redirect my mail to the ACTUAL Thomas Marik, right?
And my room is just fine!
Isis.
From: Captain-General Thomas Marik
To: Isis Marik
Re: Christmas
Isis
I'm making an appointment for you with a therapist, your abandonment issues are showing.
As for your room, underwear belongs in your underwear drawer, not under your bed.
Captain-General Thomas Marik
From: Isis Marik
To: Daddy
Cc: Not-Daddy, Joshua's Mommy
Re: Christmas
Daddy!
Help! Your doppelganger is rooting around my underwear drawer! What sort of freak did you abandon me to!
Seriously, I want my prince and if I don't get him I will take extreme measures. You don't want that, do you?
Daddy's Little Princess
Isis.
From: Joshua's Mommy
To: Isis
CC: Thomas
Re: Thomas
Isis, I'm not sure what all the rest of that about, but I've told my husband to stay out of your room.
It's still a mess though, so sort that out.
Thomas! Couch!
Sophina
From: Captain-General Thomas Marik
To: Isis
Re: Christmas
HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Isis
Re: Christmas
HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!
From: Isis Marik
To: Daddy
Cc: Not-Daddy
Re: Christmas
You mean it was supposed to be a secret?
I'm not kidding, btw. Measures. I'm not seeing any future Archon-Princes on my doorstep and I have the FWL's top reporters on my sending list.
Isis
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Isis
Re: Christmas
Isis Marik you WILL tell me how you found out about this.
Tom.
From: Isis Marik
To: Daddy
Re: Christmas
Attachment: Tom&Paul_in_Vegas.art
For the record: I do not bluff.
And this is just stage one.
Isis
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Captain-General Thomas Marik
CC: Paul Marik
Re: photos
You have to help me find out how she found us out!
Paul, you have a daughter, how can we handle this?
Tom.
From: Paul Marik
To: The REAL Thomas Marik
Re: photos
She and Corrine hacked my terminal. Sorry.
Paul.
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Paul Marik
Re: photos
You MORON!
What stays in Vegas is supposed to STAY in Vegas.
Who did you have securing your terminal, the Keystone Cops?
Tom.
From: Paul Marik
To: The REAL Thomas Marik
Re: photos
SAFE. What can I say?
Unfortunately I don't know how much they got but Corrine's getting everything she asks for this Christmas.
Paul.
From: Captain-General Thomas Marik
To: The REAL Thomas Marik
Re: The Isis situation
I've spoken to Paul about this and we've come up with a plan.
We're going to be men about this, face the inevitable and grovel until she takes pity on us. How soon can you get Victor Steiner-Davion to Atreus?
Captain-General Thomas Marik
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Captain-General Thomas Marik
Re: The Isis situation
I bet it sounded like a bunch of coconuts.
How the hell am I supposed to do that!?
Tom.
From: Captain-General Thomas Marik
To: The REAL Thomas Marik
Re: The Isis situation
You're the 'secret Master of mankind', think of something.
Oh, and after several hours on my knees cleaning out all the crap she'd got under her bed, she told me some cockanamie tale that she's travelled back from a dystopian future where the Free Worlds League schism, Kerensky's Armies return and she spent a decade having to kiss up to Sun-Tzu Liao. HOWEVER! I have done some checks and it seems she had another blood test done against me and it didn't match the one done when you checked she was YOUR heir. THAT'S how she found us out.
I've done my part, you do yours.
Captain-General Thomas Marik
From: The REAL Thomas Marik
To: Captain-General Thomas Marik
Re: The Isis situation
Okay, I've had a brilliant idea.
Contact Hanse Davion about having Joshua treated for his leukaemia at NAIS. They treated Candace Liao for some sort of cancer recently so maybe they can help him. Then lure him subtly into offering a marriage of state between Victor and Isis to bring the League into the Federated Commonwealth.
Just make sure he's wearing a bib, the slavering may get intense.
Tom.
From: Melissa Steiner-Davion
To: Isis Marik
Re: Victor
I detect a woman's hand in recent diplomacy between my husband and your father. Very smooth.
Be warned, I expect my little boy to be handled with care.
Your future mother-in-law
Melissa
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Different, but most amusing.
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At least she didn't just ask for a pony...
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I really laughed while reading it.
Nice writing.