Third Bay, Be Prepared
Inbound via Pirate Point, Terra
Star League
4th July 3251
The hatch accessing the catwalk above the third bay of the Colossus-class dropship, Be Prepared, opened and Cecil Mason stepped through. He was followed by several more people that filed in behind him as he prepared to address his men. Below him, packed into the cavernous bay, were dozens and dozens of anxious and excited faces.
“I have good news and bad news.”, came Mason’s slightly high-pitched voice. “ilKhan and First Lord Adriatica Ward has accepted our batchall.”
Cheers went up from the assembled crowd. Fists punched at the air.
Cecil put his hands up to restore quiet. “However, during the negotiations I was forced to remove several units from our bid.”
Murmurs and whispering broke out. Cecil put up his hands again.
“I know. No one wants to sit this one out, but that’s just how it’s going to have to be. We all knew that was a possibility when we set out on this mission. So, these are the units we had to bid away.” Mason turned to one of the men behind him who handed him a pad. He took a breath and began. “The Lion Scouts Green Booger Eaters…”
Cries went up from the five-year-old Lion Scouts from among the Cub Scout pack near the front of the group.
“I know, guys. I fought to keep you on our TO&E, but there was just no way.”, Mason said as he looked down on the wailing kids. Gathering himself again, Cecil continued. “The Girl Scouts Samoas Fusiliers…”
“OH, COME ON!!!”, shouted several girls to his right.
“Hey, I’m not happy about this either! We did what we could. The Tagalongs Grenadiers and the Thin Mints Cuirassiers WILL be part of the attack force.” Another group of girls jumped at the announcement, only to stop quickly and look apologetically at the other group of girls who were staring daggers back at them. “Okay, then. Lastly, we had to bid away the Venturing Socially Awkward Irregulars.”
“Dude!”, shouted someone from the back. Mason just held his hands out, palms up and shrugged. That was enough explanation for the Venturers.
“Everyone else should get with their Scout Leaders and prepare for the combat drop. This isn’t going to be easy, especially with the units we’ve already lost to the bidding process. And to those units I just want to say, you will be missed on the battlefield. I know the Green Booger Eaters have really been working on their knot tying.”, Mason said as he looked down on the still crying Cub Scouts. “And the Samoas Fusiliers, no one puts pressure on someone to give in and do what you want them to do like you.” That group of Girl Scouts had their arms crossed and only stared at him. “And no one can make another group more uncomfortable and their situation more untenable like the Socially Awkward Irregulars.” No response came from the back of the bay. “To all of you I just want to say, thank you. Without you there is no way that I would have been able to set this project up. And if this mission to conquer Terra is successful it will qualify me for Eagle Scout. On to Terra!”
“ON TO TERRA!!!”, came the thundering shouts from the Boy and Girl Scouts of New Avalon.
And thus began the next age of Battletech, as the Boy and Girls Scouts of New Avalon conquered Terra with their pin knives tied to sticks and their efficient use of small game snares. This age would see the heights of mankind’s achievements and its lowest levels of depravity. It would forever be known as the age of Devastation, Orderlessness, Regression, and Knowledgeloss, better known as the D.O.R.K. Age.
