master arminas
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Advice on a new Story Idea
« on: July 08, 2009, 02:08:49 PM »
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Ok, folks, I need your assistance.
Looking over some old posts, I’ve got a FANTASTIC idea---well, I think so at least---for a piece of fiction. But I would like your input.
Basic scenario:
The year is 3025. Thomas Calderon is the Protector and things have progressed as per canon. His oldest son is making an inspection tour, and is on Althea’s Choice when pirates attack. The local armor/infantry force responds, but a lance of pirates breaks through, ransacking the city as friendly troops rush back to defend it and the space-port.
The son—sorry, no books, so no idea what his name might be at the moment—is killed while leading a counter-attack by members of the Constabulary. The pirates take a few casualties, losing three or four ‘Mechs, but the remainder escape off-world. One pirate is taken prisoner and is interrogated.
When Thomas is informed of the death of his son, he is also given the transcripts of the rather harsh interrogation. The pirate reveals that his group—name as of yet not selected—is behind several border attacks previously attributed to House Davion. Their leaders goal (once again, no name here either) is nothing less than to provoke a confrontation between Calderon and Davion so that he (or she) can raid the more valuable interior worlds.
Before his death, the pirate also reveals that his band is using two or three worlds in the Badlands Cluster (i.e. Pirate’s Haven Cluster) as its base, but that it is really part of the Tortuga Dominions. The pirate leader has united the scoundrels and criminals of those six worlds behind him (her?) and is planning on conquering Randis in the next year as well as continuing to poke and prod both Davion and Calderon until one or the other hits the other.
Which event will cause chaos and confusion and give the pirates a chance to loot more important Taurian worlds.
Here is where things start to go astray. Furious with the pirates at attempting to manipulate him (and for killing his son), Thomas does not go all wonkers with paranoia over Hanse Davion. Instead he goes wonkers over the pirates. He assembles an expedition consisting of one battalion from each of the BattleMech regiments on active duty and sends them after the pirates.
Thoughts, ideas, suggestions? This is just a really rough sketch idea at the moment, but I think we can flesh it out into something grand.
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2009, 02:30:59 PM »
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He might think this is a plot of the Fox. Grin
The name was Edward.
And I would say go ahead.
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2009, 03:02:31 PM »
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I would agree with Ice. I don't think Thomas would be able to overcome his paranoia that quickly. He would probably believe the pirate was misinformed about the true reason/nature of their attacks. I'm not sure Thomas would devote that size of a force to attack the pirates. However, I do think he would go after the pirates first, but maybe on a covert level instead, thinking he may be able to discover or reveal how House Davion is connected to these attacks. But I would expect him to keep the border defenses on high alert and yet still try to reinforce the border worlds.
My initial thoughts on the matter. Hope they help. Smiley
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2009, 03:38:18 PM »
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Great a Secret War.
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In Turn they tested each Clan namesake in trial against the Ice Hellion's mettle. Each chased the Ice Hellion, hunting it down. All failed to match the predator's speed and grace. Khan Cage smiled and said, "And that is how we shall be."
The Remembrance (Clan Ice Hellion) Passage 5, Verse 3, Lines 1 - 5
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2009, 05:04:22 PM »
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Sounds like my Operation Flyswatter idea I did RPGing about 10 years. A bunch of nations get together and decide to take it to the bandit scum inhabiting the near Periphery. Why not work the OWA for aerospace support and perhaps call in some mercs? Make it a real ass whompin for the nations of the Periphery only thing is once you kill the bastards more pop up unless you stablize the area. So second part could be the establishment of trade route going through the areas. Just riffing here...
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2009, 08:54:40 PM »
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Quote from: MechRat on July 08, 2009, 03:02:31 PM
I would agree with Ice. I don't think Thomas would be able to overcome his paranoia that quickly. He would probably believe the pirate was misinformed about the true reason/nature of their attacks.
That depends on which version of Thomas you go with- the original from periphery 1e & 2e or the revised one that the writers came up with.
Thomas Calderon as described in Periphery 1e was a GOOD leader. He was border line paranoid, but he still built 2 new universities, continued to fund the colonization program and was working to improve the aerospace arm. He was NOT seeing Davions behind every corner, wasting large sums on planetary fortifications and screwing over Concordat.
Periphery 2e shows what happened- first you had the FS successes in the 4th SW, then his son, heir & advisor Edward was killed (which started him down the road to insanity, things got worse as he stop the tax breaks for the colonization program citing the need to improve military funding, then he found the Far Lookers stealing funds which set him further down the paranoid/angry path, then in the late 3040s there was a raid by a rouge Davion Marc unit, an FS jumpship that misjumped into the Landmark System and finally the FS's operation Future Victor which was a military exercise near the Concordat. That is when he went nuts and started building fortifications on every planet.
As for the original idea- I think there is a chance that if Edward is killed before the 4th SW Thomas may not see it as Davion plot- Sounds interesting I look forward to seeing what you come up with.
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2009, 10:43:47 AM »
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DO it. I just want to read the end result. Grin
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2009, 03:36:31 PM »
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How old was Edward in 3025 and in what year did he die in canon? If anyone knows, just let ME know, please.
Thanks!
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2009, 04:14:44 PM »
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He died in 3034.
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In Turn they tested each Clan namesake in trial against the Ice Hellion's mettle. Each chased the Ice Hellion, hunting it down. All failed to match the predator's speed and grace. Khan Cage smiled and said, "And that is how we shall be."
The Remembrance (Clan Ice Hellion) Passage 5, Verse 3, Lines 1 - 5
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2009, 08:06:24 PM »
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I'm not sure how old Edward is but I can help narrow it down
Thomas Calderon was 44 years old in 3025. (Born 2981)
Janice Calderon was 14 when Edward died in 3034, meaning she was born in 3020. She was the second oldest of Thomas' children. Jeffrey Calderon was born in 3026 (Periphery 2e implies that he was 20 years old in 3046 when Felix disappeared) and Ian and Felix were born sometime between 3020 and 3026.
When Janice became heir in 3034 Periphery 2e says "her youth prevented her from fully taking on the heir's responsiblities" Yet Edward was "one of Thomas' most trusted advisors in addition to ruling several Taurian worlds" Periphery 1e has him ruling Brisbane, Brinton, New Ganymede, Sterope and Ishtar in 3025. This implies he was older then 14 in 3025. Also interesting to note is that Thomas' bio in Periphery 1e (which is set in 3025) mentions that he has 5 children even though Jeffrey was not born until 3026 (as near as I can tell).
I'm going to guess based on this that Edward was born around 3001 and was in his mid 20s by 3025. I can't figure why Thomas & his wife then waited 20 years to have more kids but I guess it is possible.
Also interesting to note:both Periphery 2e and FM:P state that it is the formation of the FC combined with their conquering half of the CC that pushed Thomas' fear of the FS to outright paranoia.
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2009, 09:29:41 AM »
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Maybe Thomas was married twice: once to Edwards mother--who died in some way we don't know, and then many later to another woman, who was the mother of Janice, Jeffery, Ian, and Felix. That COULD account for the delay between children, and it might be the breaking of a 'last straw' for Thomas; i.e., losing Edward is losing the last connection with his dead wife--especially if Edward does not have children of his own.
Just a thought.
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Re: Advice on a new Story Idea
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2009, 09:37:45 PM »
Quote from: master arminas on July 10, 2009, 09:29:41 AM
Maybe Thomas was married twice: once to Edwards mother--who died in some way we don't know, and then many later to another woman, who was the mother of Janice, Jeffery, Ian, and Felix. That COULD account for the delay between children, and it might be the breaking of a 'last straw' for Thomas; i.e., losing Edward is losing the last connection with his dead wife--especially if Edward does not have children of his own.
I had that thought also but there is nothing hinting that he had been married twice. What I think is that in Periphery 1e Thomas' kids were older- maybe Edward was born 3001, Janice, 3004, Ian 3006 etc... Then in Periphery 2e they had Janice as only 14 at the time of Edward's death, which was probably done with out too much though put into her age and how it related to Edward's age.
